There was my natural life and my supernatural life. I lived as a daughter of Israel, attending the synagogue, learning the Jewish scriptures and fulfilling my role. No one would have singled me out. I dressed and ate as others. I participated in family life and in the community life at Nazareth.
The Three Divine Persons
Yet, within me, my soul was absorbed by this light that revealed God. I understood God as taught by the scriptures, that He was one and there was no other. But my supernatural light brought me to understand that within this oneness there were three perfect Persons, all eternal and almighty. I did not share this with others, because I could not fully describe my experiences.
Then, I met Joseph. He was kind and thoughtful. He, too, was holy and devout. Holiness joined us together. My soul rejoiced in his presence and I shared with him some beginning revelations, those that I could put into words. He always responded and I could see that my words gave nourishment to his soul. So, we spoke often. Our Jewish faith gave us many common themes. He was a just man, always living according to the Mosaic Law.
I could not explain my attraction to him. This attraction itself was a mystery and somehow, it shared in the mystery of God and the three Persons. The more I was absorbed in God in heaven, the more I felt attracted to Joseph on earth. God, himself, had singled him out and, my love for Joseph in no way violated my love for God. The two went together in a mystery that I could not understand but which was so evident to me.
The Proposal to Marry
Then came a special moment. I can never forget it. Joseph was older than I and he had never thought of marrying again. However, as we shared our mutual love for God, we both felt an attraction which we knew was there but we never spoke about. Then, one day, under a divine inspiration, Joseph asked me to be his wife. At this point, I had to tell him what God was doing in my soul. I told him that I felt absorbed by God and, in these great gifts I had given myself totally to God, that I had consecrated myself in a way that no daughter of Abraham would even think of doing. I had told God that I would be his perpetual virgin. This was the first gift. I also explained to Joseph that my attraction for him and his attraction for me was part of my divine experiences, that as I was absorbed into God, my heart was also moved closer to Joseph. So, I placed this great mystery before him in the only words I knew. He, somehow, understood. Yet, both of us did not know the outcome. I knew he was a just man and would ponder the situation.
Soon, however, he returned and said that, through me, God had touched his own heart and he, too, felt drawn into this holy calling. He would share in my virginal consecration. Again, he asked me to be his wife, with the understanding that he would always love me and protect me as a husband but would never ask me for the rights that a husband has regarding his wife.
We both knew that God had consummated a great gift. We were more mutually joined in our hearts than any other couple who had promised to marry each other. We were betrothed and we told everyone. No one else knew the great mystery. In the eyes of all, we were just like any other betrothed couple, waiting for the day when Joseph would tell my parents that he wanted to take me into his home. This would be the final and concluding moment.
In my own heart, my heavenly call and my earthly call had come together. This question was now answered. When I consecrated my virginity to God, I did not know how this could ever be fulfilled in my Jewish culture which made no such provision. God, in whom I had trusted, had everything prepared and I rejoiced in God my Savior.
The greatest of God's interventions in our world since the Big Bang of Creation, which was the Incarnation of the Word, happened in the hiddenness of the most common and ordinary of places and human stories: youth, love, decisions, doubts, choices, fidelity, obedience, paradox, freedom, risk taking ... Just a mix that may be found in any of our lives ... if we too choose to live and walk in God's Presence. God has a magnificent plan for each one of us also.
May Saint Joseph intercede for us today, together with Mary, his most Holy Spouse, so that we too may open our freedom to the breath of the Spirit in the silence of our heart. And may we work out with God, through prayer, the direction we are to take in every fork, small or big, of our life journey.